Sunday, May 30, 2010
When I confided in a friend 3 years ago that my anorexia was back (she and I struggled together in high school/college) she told me that eating disorders are very selfish. I have to admit I was pretty angry. I replied that I think all I ever do is GIVE. I am a mother of 3 and I work with special education children and I was volunteering at the Animal Humaine Society. My love for my family, children, and animals is Strong! So strong that it HURTS! When I see all the abuse in the world and the mistreatment of people and animals it just HURTS! I wonder why we live in such a crazy world and how can people be so MEAN!! I know I should focus on all the GOOD out there but we all need to open our eyes - we can't ignore what's going on. I work with so many dysfunctional families too and feel so bad for their children. Does this make me selfish? I guess I kind of understand what she means, due to the fact that the Ed takes over our minds and most of us spend most of our days thinking about it so it is kind of like being selfish. It's also an illness that none of us choose to have. It has been my experience that it is one of the most difficult things to overcome. I often think back to how did I recover 23 years ago. Well, I don't think I ever really did. I was at a healthy weight for most of my kids childhood years but I still was Very cautious of what I ate, and I exercised everyday. Maybe I was never really "better" - on the outside maybe, but not on the inside.