Saturday, January 29, 2011
Ask yourself these questions: Do you take time for yourself? Do you take care of yourself? Are your needs just as important as others? I just got back from a weekend in Arizona to celebrate my "50th" with my bestest-gal-pal from CA, and my two sister-in- laws. We had so much fun in just two days! Every once in awhile, one of them would say to me, "You know what, Pen? You deserve it!" Made me think of that advertisement (Loreal I think "Because I'm worth it!") We took a van tour to Sedona, we shopped, we ate outside! (I live in MN so impossible this time of year) we all had ONE HOUR long massages! I haven't had a massage in 2 years. I use to go 2 times a month. What happened to that? I think when you have an eating disorder it just takes over your life and takes all the FUN out of it! I work all day, come home and work some more, exercise and diet. This is suppose to be my life? Where is the FUN? I realize how much I have isolated myself from people. I thought it was because I was shy - which I can be and it gets worse when you have an eating disorder. I'm not one of those people who parades my thin body around. I would rather cover up and hide! This isn't about how I look... I don't think. My self confidence disappears and I feel angry and bitter. I don't talk about it, I don't say how I feel, my eating disorder just wants to keep it all inside and Isolate. My weekend away was so much fun... I was living! My job is to start doing things for myself and my girlfriend will be calling and checking to make sure that I am. This past week I bought myself $35 worth of new make-up (Does that count? I think so! :)) I also went to a Bible Study with another sister-In-Law so it felt good to get out of the house on a weeknight! Now that it's warming up a little, I will have an easier time wanting to go out, I think... I hope...I also signed up for a Mosaic Art class. I really wanted to get into a Zumba class but it was full. I was mad but maybe it was a blessing.. I don't need the exercise, although it looks so fun! Anyway, I need to live and it HAS to be with people! Not just by myself. We prayed at my Bible Study for ALL people who have eating disorders. May we all come to realize how beautiful, how Important we are. Take care of yourselves- We're worth it!!!